The Impression That I Get. . .

Have You Ever Been Close to Tragedy?

When I Woke Up This Morning. . .

Not much had changed. I mean, really, it’s true. I had the same “job” I did when I went to sleep.

I have to raise my son to be a good person.

I have to try and be a good person myself.

I have to try and discern the will of the Creator (God, Jesus, Allah, Krsna, Universe, Fate, Destiny, Higher Power . . . call it whatever or whoever . . . my sense is It/She/He/They don’t care).

I have to work/pray/intend well-being, health, safety, security, harmony, balance, and above all else, love for everyone (whether they walk on four legs, two legs, swim, fly, or stand still for millennia) I come in contact with to the best of my ability.

I have to write, in some fashion, in some form, pretty much every day.

It might not sound like much, but it keeps me busy.

What Happened. . .

I’m not clueless. The first thing I did after greeting my son and asking him if he slept well, and had any good dreams, when he walked in my room to wake me up at 4:39 this morning, was open my phone. If I’m being honest, I already knew, or thought I knew.

When I went to bed last night at 9 it didn’t look good to me. I didn’t have any particular insight, just a sense. So, I wasn’t surprised. I also wasn’t devastated. More resigned, but also perhaps a little hopeful as well. I’m going to put a pin in that for the moment though, because I think it’s important to realize what’s actually happened.

There was a free and fair election in the United States of America and a man by the name of Donald J. Trump won by a landslide. It seems insane to characterize it as anything else in the razor thin margins of the current political climate. He won the popular vote. He won the electoral college vote. He won every battleground state. His party won control of both houses of Congress. In the days of olde, we’d say such a victory provided the winner with a mandate.

But that’s it. That’s all. Nothing else has come to pass.

We’re free to have any feelings or opinions about those facts we want, but the reality of them is beyond our control.

Something About Carts and Horses. . .

I’ve mostly been steering clear of media today, in particular social media. When I’ve buckled, I’ve retreated discouraged, but again, not surprised.

My bubble is pretty liberal. There’s a lot of anger, grief, frustration, sadness, fear, and predictions about future harms. I understand the reality of public emoting these days. I don’t participate in it. I wouldn’t recommend it, but no one’s asking me, so it doesn’t matter. We’re all free to act as we see fit. Maybe there’s even something positive about public catharsis. I hope so.

I will say as a witness, I’m sympathetic to all these feelings. I’ve had a range of emotions today, pretty much like I do everyday. But I would offer a word of caution.

There will be plenty of time to experience the impacts of all the “harms” we experience in the future when they actually happen. I’m always grateful when I stop and realize that well over half of the things I worry about happening in the future never come to fruition. And, sometimes even when they do, they aren’t as bad as I imagined.

The lesson here, I probably shouldn’t waste so much time worrying about shit that hasn’t happened yet.

It takes so much time and energy projecting myself into the future, energy, arguably that would be better utilized to handle what’s occurring. The energy I used in the past is energy I don’t have in the moment. If I show up to an actual fight too tired from preparing for an imagined one, it isn’t going to go well.

And I think it’s fair to say that Trump and his cronies are going to try and pull some shit. Probably some shit we haven’t even thought of yet. Now is not the time to be fighting windmills. If, and when, it comes time, we need to be at our best.

What Does “Our Best” Look Like. . .

I don’t know.

I know what it doesn’t look like . . . most of the “takes” I’ve seen on social media for starters.

I’d say the top three “reasons” I’ve seen offered up for why “our” side lost are, in no particular order: racism/white supremacy, sexism/misogyny, and the patriarchy.

Before getting into these, I’d like to say I think such a characterization is part of the problem in that it’s quite illiberal, and generally speaking, more than a little disrespectful.

It seems to me that we like to claim the moral high ground more than occupy it.

If we’re so afraid that democracy is in danger, then we should stop calling people who don’t agree with us racists. Clearly, Trump secured the white supremacist vote, but that’s beside the point and doesn’t account for the reality of how and why he won Florida by a significant margin. For God’s sake, He won Miami-Dade county, which according to the 2020 census, is 13.4% White/Non-Hispanic.

An essential component of living in a democracy is accepting and believing that we are each capable of voting in our best interest. If I think Trump won because of racism, how am I too account for the millions of non-white people who voted for him? It seems arrogant, and perhaps more than a little racist itself, to say this huge block of individuals aren’t “intelligent” enough to know what they want. I may not agree with, or understand, why they voted for him, but I have to respect that they thought it in their best interest.

I’m the father of a little boy. I love him with my whole heart. I want the best for him. I assume that the vast, vast majority of fathers love their children as much as a I do. I assume they all want what’s best for their kids. We most likely don’t all agree on what that is, but we all share the same motivation. This, I would assume, is true for all the fathers of little girls who voted for Trump as well. To say that such a man is either consciously or unconsciously hateful towards women, a group which includes their daughters, wives, mothers, aunts, and grandmothers, just doesn’t sit right with me. I know I wouldn’t appreciate someone telling me what they thought I should do in my son’s best interest.

When I think about the world I want my son to grow up in, it isn’t a patriarchy, and it isn’t a matriarchy either. It’d be an “egaliarchy.” I know that men run the show. I don’t think we’ve done a good job. I’d be happy for women to take the reins. I have no idea if things would be better. They sure as shit wouldn’t be worse. But, the numbers here speak for themselves. There simply aren’t enough men in the US to give Trump the numbers he got last night. And again, a common respect for the decency and personhood of the untold millions of women who voted for him, means I need to believe they acted in their own self-interest.

In short, choosing to villainize those with whom we disagree is not a good look, or likely to bear “ripe” fruit in the future.

Baa Baa Black Sheep. . .

This morning my wife asked me, “Do you like him?”

I laughed and quickly jumped to defend myself. That is the last time I’m going to do that.

I’m prepared to be “out of step” for the next four years. But don’t assume just because I don’t share in your outrage, your anger, your despair, your sadness, or your grief that I’m on the other side. I don’t really have a side, but if I did, it most certainly wouldn’t be his. It’d be yours . . . only re-imagined. And that’s why I’m hopeful.

The reality is someone was going to wake up disappointed today. I’m glad it was our side. I think we’re better equipped to deal with this challenge than the MAGA crowd, (in this I’m not including the vast majority of people who voted for Trump, but his diehard cultists). Look at it this way.

This drama has been going on since 2016. This is the final act. The center held before. It can do so again. If the election had gone the other way, who knows when, or if, it would end. This way there’s no place to hide. Trump has everything he wants. There’s nothing standing in his way. There’s no one thwarting him. There’s no scapegoat. Let him give it his best shot. And we’ll do the same.

I like our chances against arguably the most successful lazy fat bastard this country has ever known.

But we’re going to have to step up our game.

We’ve got to stop the name calling. Everyone who doesn’t agree with us isn’t a racist, or a misogynist. Instead, what if we used the next four years to really learn what motivated those 72 million people to vote for Trump. What do they want? What’s on their minds? What’s bothering them? Let’s actually take the time to listen, to see them, to learn about them and their lives. There’s no better cure for polarization.

And then let’s use that information to field an alternative. Not a geriatric candidate, not a default candidate, but someone who has identifiable positions, who speaks from a place of lived experience to all people, cutting across all boundaries. A leader, not a politician. Shit, let’s shoot for the stars and find ourselves a Philosopher King/Queen. So, that when the choice is between J.D. Vance and whoever, we won’t have to wonder how or why someone is undecided, because they won’t be. The choice will be obvious because we’ll have convinced them with substance and character.

In the mean time, we should build a coalition of resistance, but not one rooted in defiance. We need to lead by example. Look, here’s the thing. If we spend the next four years hating on Trump, trying to rake J.D. over the coals, playing a hateful, mean-spirited game of political gotcha, the only losers are going to be us.

We will have wasted an opportunity to improve ourselves. We will have missed an opportunity to learn and grow. We will have so many burns from holding the coals of hate, anger, spite, and resentment, we won’t even recognize ourselves . . . and no one else is going to want to look at us either.

But, but, but . . . “they” treat us with disrespect. Good. That’s an opportunity for us to rise above, to demonstrate the power of respect in the face of disrespect. “They’re” corrupt. Good. That’s an opportunity for us to show the power of an alternative. “They” call us names. Good. That’s an opportunity to ask them a question.

These ideas aren’t new, but they would be a revolution in action, just like they’ve been for thousands of years. They’ve never failed to effect real and lasting change. We only need be their instruments. We only need be bold enough to stand in the truth of love, kindness, respect, and understanding. We can’t go wrong.

This is our test. I hope we’re up to it. Because if we aren’t, well, I’m not going to worry about it now, but . . .